SAT Words.

I recently realized that after all of the wasted time obsessing over the John situation, the many chemicals I use to get that "flat and shiny" look for my hair, and the hours of "90210" reruns I've watched in an effort to distract myself from said John situation, I've killed my brain. This isn't like "after four years of college maybe I killed some brain cells," this is like "I don't remember state capitals and I am quickly losing my once extensive (see, that's not even a really good word to use here!) vocabulary that I enjoyed in high school, oh God am I senile already?" brain-mush.

That being said* from now on, in an effort to retain what has been lost, I will be doing vocabulary words every month (or whenever I remember to do them). Ironically, this was my least favorite part of junior year honors English. Now, as I struggle to write your basic "strongly worded email" to my insurance company, I see what Mr. Siedlecki's point was.

Here are your January 2009 words and sample sentences.

1. excogitate: The idea that Heidi and Spencer are celebrities excogitates from the idea that "The Hills" is a popular show.

2. ruminate: I ruminated my gum. (Ah, it works word snobs- look it up!)

3. maudlin: Many accused me of being maudlin after John and I had our falling out.

4. lachrymose: It's true, I was a little lachrymose.

5. adept: Sarah Palin is very adept at making herself look like a churl.

6. sagacious (sagacity): I wish I was sagacious, but I'm just aloof.

7. sapient: Barack Obama won the election because of his sapient nature and dulcet speaking tone.

8. sybaritic: I would love to find a man who can keep up with my sybaritic lifestyle.

9. epicurean: My epicurean nature makes it ok to get wasted on good wine.

10. choleric: I have a choleric temperament due to Republicans and Evangelists.

11. irascible: Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's FCOG. Lately I've been pretty irascible.

12. churl: Sarah Palin.

*"That being said" is my favorite transition of all time. You could basically create any non sequitur you choose with it. "I think you are a fat idiot. That being said, I'm hungry for pancakes." Also, it makes insults sound less, I don't know, insulting. "You're lazy, worthless, and you have shamed this family for years. That being said, I think you are wonderful dancer." Although I use it to do none of these things here and I am now only realizing that just because you can make a humorous point, doesn't mean you should do it. I thought maybe I should go back and choose a different transition but then I realized I'm tired and it's snowing and while it doesn't prove my point, it still works in this situation. SEE WHAT I MEAN? I'VE LOST MY MIND.

Smart: it's the new Hot. (And neurotic is the new charming.)