At the Movies... again!

Ok so, as I previously mentioned the Golden Globes were on on Sunday. This year, there is an interesting array of fare that harbors on the side of unconventional when it comes to what is considered "the best." For example, "Slumdog Millionaire," as Dan Hopper of BWE.tv points out, was neither "historical nor gay nor three hours long". It's about Indians. In Mumbai. "The Wrestler" stars someone that should be dead by now and Marisa Tomei. And that annoying as hell girl that dated Marilyn Manson.

I live in Ohio. While I would love to see these movies, I simply do not have the time or patience to drive to the Cedar Lee theater and chance getting my car stolen. So I have to pick and choose my battles when it comes time for awards season (and that's usually based, like how I pick up men, on first impressions).

"Slumdog Millionaire." Not interested, not about white people. (Of course I'm kidding. I'm not interested because it's about FOREIGNERS).

"The Wrestler." Who is Mickey Rourke? I'm told he had a career in the early nineties? I don't like wrestling so that's a con. But I DO like strippers. So that's a plus. Hmmm.

"The Reader." Looks like a downer. "The problem with doing a Holocaust film is there's no gag reel on the DVD, is there?"- Ricky Gervais

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." The title is already long enough. I'm bored.

"Revolutionary Road." It's Jack and Rose had they gotten married! Um, why are they yelling so much in the trailer?

"Rachel Getting Married." Can someone please tell Anne Hathaway that she's boring me? Thanks.

"Dark Knight." Two words: Woo and a hoo. Loved. It.

"Wall-E." Umm, can we say Best Motion Picture of the Year? Cause I just did suckas!

"Milk." This movie looks so uplifting! A gay man in office! It's the feel good movie of the year, I'm sure it has a happy ending! Wait... What?

"Vicky Christina Barcelona." Try "Vicky Christina Boring."

"Frost/Nixon." Other than the funniness in the trailer ("What did you do last night? Did you do any FORNICATING?" Oh, tricky Dick...) and the big gasp moment ("When the president does it, it's not illegal!"), I'm just not motivated.

"Doubt." I doubt it. No, for real, this is the only movie that has me somewhat intrigued. I think the Catholic Church is an interesting institution and that nuns are quite complex characters, what with giving up men for God and all. I like Amy Adams and I like Meryl Streep and I love Phillip Seymour Hoffman. So... maybe.

"Changeling." Again, I think the best parts of this movie are in the preview. SO... that saved me $8.50 right there.

Movies for sure avoided: 10 (at 8.50/ticket- current rate in Ohio)
Money saved: $85.00 (that's my cell phone bill, a new pair of pants, or a really nice Coach wristlet bag)

So, as you can see, when it comes to the cinema I have the refined tastes of a 13 year old boy. Only three of these movies have actually made it to our local theaters and I'm sure you can guess which ones I'm talking about. Cleveland is just not a big market for film... an idea that should be tipped off by the fact that the only time celebrities come here is if the Cavs are in the playoffs. Which by the looks of it this year, we're gonna get lucky.

(Honestly, it's really funny to see West 6th turn into Robertson Blvd. Two years ago, Eva Longoria, Jack Nicholson, Beyonce, and Jay Z all forced smiles as they endured our "nightlife.")