FAQ part 2.

Well, it seems there are more questions to be answered in a funny, witty way that ultimately hides the pain the I push deep down inside of me on a daily basis.  This first one is from my ex.

Q: Seriously, why are you such a crazy whore?

A: Well, dear, to find the answer to your question I believe we have to break it down first. CRAZY.  Although I have admitted to doing some pretty wild things- and some would may even say crazy- I do not think it is necessary to categorize myself amongst the insane.  WHORE. Ok, well the definition of the word "whore" is "a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse for money; a prostitute; a harlot; or a strumpet" (according to dictionary.com). And while I do like saying the word "strumpet," I must say that while I have had my share of fun, I have never received any type of monetary compensation for it.  So sadly, logic has defeated your question.

Q:  Are you a bleeding heart liberal? (from a fan/hater/backward conservative? who ended email with "no way, no how, NOBAMA"- um, wasn't this already taken care of?)

I tend to lead more to the left but consider myself a moderate. However this is more the product of current financial situations.  I have found that conservatives love to point out the hypocrisies of liberals (almost making a sport out of it) and I would like to say that I am the poster child for contradiction.  I drive a gas-guzzling Buick (not really out of choice), I'm horrible when it comes to recycling (it's like 10 whole minutes to the recycling place, and at that rate, my car is emitting more carbon than I would like Leo DiCaprio to know about), I most definitely think there should be stricter standards when it comes to immigration (having spent a lot of time in Texas), and I shop at Wal-Mart. Ideally, I would love if we could avoid a "Day After Tomorrow" situation by changing our practices towards the environment today and in a perfect world, Wal-Mart wouldn't be the cheapest and most convenient place for me to shop.  And I'm sure that I have more than enough clothes/shoes/accessories that were assembled by the nimble hands of a 9 year-old in SouthEast Asia.  You can only do your best on a day to day basis.  Someday, I will be in a position to do greater things.  Right now, I just gotta go with what I got.

Q:  Is Ohio really that bad?

A:  Yes.  Yes it is really that bad.  However, there is plenty to complain/write about so I gotta give credit where credit is due.

Q: For real now, what do you have against "Twilight"?  Why do you hate Stephenie Meyer so much?  

A: Why do you care what a blog with 10 readers says about "Twilight"?  Honestly, and in all seriousness, I think Stephenie Meyer "serviced" someone (or many someones) to get that tripe published.  My heart feels for the many trees that have died so that a teeny-bopper girl can get vampire-tryst fantasy on.  As for the movie, my soul dies a little more every time I see a trailer for it.  I remember, before even knowing about the books, seeing the trailer and being like "This is a really pathetic excuse for a vampire movie.  No Brad Pitt, no Antonio Banderas, no Keifer Sutherland, no Gary Oldham, not even Stuart Townsend.  And Ann Rice has nothing to do with it? Gotcha." If you want to see a good movie about teen vampires, get "The Lost Boys." Or, just stick to zombie movies since they are better anyway (I know you wouldn't want to get it on with one of them, but they're much more unpredictable and a lot less douche-y).

That's it.  I may/may not post some "discovery" links but the weather has left me with ZERO energy bars.

FAQ.

Here are some of the answers to questions I've been getting since the inaugural post of this blog.  

Q:  Why are you such a dork? (truth be told, this one is from my own sister)

A:  If the fact that I read real books and publications that are not chick lit or Cosmo makes me a dork, so be it.  Unfortunately I live in a state where the stereotype of beautiful women needing to be seen and not heard (while ugly women are forced to work in the bookstore/library/become 8th grade Algebra teachers) is perpetuated.  I do like to read.  I do like to see independent film.  I do not watch Fox News.  And yes, I enjoy the SciFi channel and horror movies.  And according to the people of this state, that makes me a dork/nerd/shrew/troll.

Q:  What the hell is John's deal?  What attracted you to him in the first place?

A:  John's "deal" is that he is a spoiled brat who doesn't like it when the women in his life (mom, sister, friend, ex-girlfriend) tell him he is an idiot.  He's insecure and hides it with the bravado usually reserved for hip-hop stars like Jay-Z.  That being said, he is a sweet lost little boy inside and he is very cute.  And he actually does like to learn new things and talk and try to help people whether they asked for his advice or not.  I don't know, he's kind of just like a mole that you get so used to you forget that it could be cancerous.  

Q: What is your religious affiliation?  I see you say you are an 'agnostic leaning towards atheism' on Facebook?

A:  Agnostic and always, always questioning everything.  Even when I was little.  I don't like to align myself with organized religion and I feel very suffocated inside a church (I subscribe to the theory that if there is a G-O-D he would rather be appreciated amongst his own creations rather than in a kiss-ass piece of architecture).  

Q:  Really, though, why are you so weird? (again from Lisa, my sister)

A:  I am not weird.  I'm eccentric and quirky and adorable.

Q:  So are you like some troll with no life in her parents' basement in her pajamas typing mean gossip on your blog?

A:  Actually, I think I am pretty attractive if I do say so myself.  Do I have a life?  That's debatable.  I go out and enjoy myself but I'm not a party girl (anymore).  There really isn't that much to do around here, though. Parents' basement?  Our basement is a scary, scary thing that I would imagine houses a crazy cannibal.  I stay in my area, he stays in his, and there are no problems.  As for my parents... well, having been divorced for many many years you can guess that they do not have a house together anymore. 

Q: Do you really have a job?

A: OF course I do.  Otherwise I wouldn't have this blog to keep me busy while I'm at it!

Q: You make it sound like Ohio is so isolated and backward.  Where do you live, exactly?

A:  I live in a lovely little town called Chesterland and it is in Geauga County.  This is the county immediately east of Cuyahoga County, where Cleveland is located and I spent a good portion of my life going to school.  Geauga County is mostly rural and includes small towns (like Chardon) as well as vast expanses of farm land (Amish country in Middlefield).  Most of Ohio is actually rural expanse like Geauga County.  What makes it interesting is the stark contrast in (this is why it is such a hotly contended for Battleground State) the inner-city populations of Cincinnati, Cleveland, and kind of Columbus (Columbus is actually a microcosm of its own with Ohio State).  We got it all here: backwards religious conservatives, mormons (Kirtland), rednecks, large Jewish populations, large Slavic and Russian populations, large African American populations, large Hispanic populations, young liberal college-educated elites, wealthy old money, wealthy new money, poverty, a booming crack-cocaine market, poor educational system, a failing industrial sector, a dirty polluted river that caught on fire, racial tension, and the ghosts of 4 dead college students from 1970.  And Lebron James.  It's pretty much a hodge-podge of political issues.  I love Ohio.

Q:  Why do you continue to give PVille guy the time of day? (this coming from a friend- actually all my friends)

A:  Because it is my gift and my curse to always see the good in people.  Even those that continue to walk on me and/or spew hate my way.   I think he is a really good guy and I think that he deserves better than what he has arguably accepted as his fate.  That being said, I do have my dignity and this blog and many, many of you making sure that I don't lose myself in this whole ordeal.  

Q: Do you have pets?

A: I do.  Oh, you want to know what kind?  I have a British bi-color blue named Sir Thomas of Chestershire (TomCat or TC for short).  He has six toes on each paw, which I guess is a breed standard.  He was a barn cat that my mother took in.  He has since become very accustomed to the indoor life.  And I have a lab named Lucky.  Well, lab/pit mix.  I saved him from a shelter. He has a gimp leg from a hit and run incident and abandonment issues.  He may or may not be mentally retarded as well.  He's 2 1/2.  They are my faithful companions and provide me with daily entertainment.  

Q: You need to do something with your life. (this one is from my ever-loving Dad who now resides in Scottsdale, AZ but was born in the projects in Boston).

A: That wasn't exactly a question as much of a statement.  Yes, I know I need to do something with my life.  In five years, I see myself doing exactly that: something. 

Ok, well if anyone wants to know anything else about me, you can email: carlyrowe@gmail.com or post your question in the comments.  

Wasting time.

So, I'm really out of material today. John and I had another heart to heart last night (much to my chagrin, it was during "How I Met Your Mother") but really it was just more of the same from Sunday. Not to mention, it was a very private conversation between two people who have been through a battle and carry the wounds. Meaning, unless you were there, you don't know. So, I decided to go for an old fall back created by Bernard Pivot, but more widely known because of James Lipton on "Inside the Actor's Studio." Asked of some of the most brilliant minds and actors of a generation, here is my response to Le Bouillon de Culture Questionnaire.

What is your favorite word? Beautiful

What is your least favorite word? No

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Blind and fiery passion

What turns you off? idiocy

What is your favorite curse word? FUCK- very versatile (I know that Ben Affleck or Matt Damon had the same response, but I don't care)

What sound or noise do you love? engines running, blades against ice during hockey, a good punch connecting with a jawline, a bat connecting with a ball headed for a homerun, a tennis ball swishing over the net

What sound or noise do you hate? static, white noise... and my alarm clock

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? swordfish boat captain.  it looks like the most amazing adventure ever.  until a big wave drowns you and your crew.  then it probably sucks. ("the grand banks are no joke in octowbah.")

What profession would you not like to do? president of the united states... or telemarketer.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? what would i like to hear or what will i hear? i would like to hear "good to see you, your friends and family are waiting in the back." but what will i hear? "um, are you sure you're suppose to be here? how do you spell that name again?"

And there you go.