"Welcome to post-racial America! I am the face of post-racial America. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett! We'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press ... especially me, 'cause a black man can't get no love at the Emmys. I love you, Europe! That's what's up!"
-Tracey Morgan with the best acceptance speech of the night. (Props to Ricky Gervais' Holocaust gag reel reference and Seth Rogen's "doing coke with Mickey Rourke" quip for the presenters- because really, that sounds like an awesome time) (and also, Kate Winslet for "Oh God what's the other one's name?" in re: to ubiquitous Jolie).*
And since we are, apparently, approaching post-racial America, I would like to share with you my new favorite website. Ever. (I'm just going to start adding Ever to the ends of things and hope that BWE.tv accepts my application for part-time writer).
As we enjoy the circus that is Awards season and do retrospectives of the best of 2008, I would just like to share what I believe to be one of the most beautiful scenes* from the whole year. Seriously, this movie had me breathless throughout the whole thing. Once again, Pixar knocked it out of the park with "Wall-E."
Sorry that the clip is ripped-off from YouTube and you could probably get better quality by actually buying the movie.
*This scene left me with the same feeling that I had when I saw Jack and Rose up on the bow of the Titanic for the first time at age 14. Say what you will, to a teenage girl, there was nothing more amazing than seeing that scene on the big screen.
I just couldn't help myself. Here's what the Boston Missing Connections had to offer this morning (I really cannot stress enough the fact that I'm running out of material right now). Click on the pictures to read them better.
"You Almost Hit My Car On the Icy Roads" m4w 25 (Allston)
I actually thought that this would be a good premise for a crappy rom-com starring Patrick Dempsey and Kate Hudson or something. With a corny title like "Cold Hands, Warm Heart" or "Ice Queen" and in the preview "These Words" by Natasha Beddingfield would be playing. Predictable, of course, because they end up together in the end (no matter the fact it doesn't make any sense for her to give up that awesome job in LA for a guy she's known for two weeks). On another day, I will go off about how much I hate all formula romantic comedies.
"I Like The Skirts You Have Wore As Of Late" m4w (Newton)
I just love this because it reminds me of something that Daniel Cleaver would email to Bridget Jones about the hem of her skirt in an exercise of inappropriate office behavior.
"Bruins Game Show-Off" m4m 31 (Boston Garden)
And finally, this gem in the M4M section of Missed Connections. I don't know why this made me laugh so hard today, maybe it was the idea of this guy (we'll call him Larry) being on a date with his girlfriend (Pam) or out with the boys from the office and wearing his Bruins jersey as he walks into the men's facilities. Then Guy #2 comes along (we'll call him Dirk) all proud of himself, reminding Larry of days past with his roommate in college (his name will be Todd) when they used to play "just the tip..."
Seriously, one could create a whole blog centered solely compromised of Craigslist Missed Connections, Rants and Raves, Erotic Services, and the NSA section. But then one could be accused of having no life.
"Watching 'Nip/Tuck' after all this time is like doing a line of coke after rehab. You feel bad that you're doing it again but it just feel so good."- Text from Me to Alanna last night.
And so it was true. After taking a hiatus from the show and then the show taking a hiatus from television, Shawn, Christian and I had a joyous, if not a tad disappointing, reunion. Of course, this disappointment was forgotten during the last fifteen minutes with a completely unnecessary double sex scene.
Missing were Julia and Kimber... where did they go? I've tried keeping up with synopses on "Television Without Pity" lately. It was a mistake to stop watching the show after they left Miami and I admit that. Christian and I are getting through it together. It was nice that they recapped the murder attempt by Shawn's sadly pathetic manager Colleen. Lots of blood, yum. What I gather from what I've read so far is this: somehow Christian killed his ex Gina and made it look like suicide so now he has her son Wilbur who he thought was his until Wilbur's birth revealed he was, um, not and somehow Matt slept with his half sister, but only after knocking up Kimber and becoming addicted to Meth. Well now he wants to be a doctor. Rrrright. Because the best doctors are always the former meth-heads. Christian has breast cancer and him and Liz are now friends... which I find odd but comforting.
Other than the beginning (gratuitous violence) and the end (gratuitous wheelchair sex), the middle was a little lacking. Kind of like a sandwich on really good bread with only a slice of cheese in between. However, I was reminded by EW online that this was NOT a season premiere but a season continuation so we're still dealing with last year's BS. So I will give it time.
I did miss it though, a lot. Apparently "over the top" is back in style nowadays, though. So I don't feel bad about it.
I'm gonna go ahead and be really lame and post this (because thousands have posted it before me). Only because I was singing it for no real reason at all this morning in the shower.
While Jimmy's answer was the hilarious "I'm F'ing Ben Affleck," I still enjoy Sarah's for its simple message. Plus, hers had 100% less Cameron Diaz.
Oh yeah, and this is my week thus far:
1. I bought "Point Break" on Amazon. So I can show little Johnny Utah (Your Last Name Here, Handsome Stranger) his namesake.
2. My desk was Shanghai-ed, my cubicle usurped. All of my iTunes "smart" purchases are lost. I'm back in the horrible place I was before. I'm hoping this will give me the anger that I need to do something with my life.
3. PVille Guy: Not a Douchebag (?). Startling revelation that I'm still notsosureabout.
4. I'm really sick of reruns however I did get to watch "Gossip Girl" for the first time in awhile (skipping the OSU/UT Fiesta Bowl- no thank you, sir).
5. And sadly this is the best part of it all so far: NBC is AMAAAAAZING. Thursday night, Peter Dinklage will be a guest star on "30 Rock." Now, I admit that I should watch this show a lot more than I do but... PETER DINKLAGE. If you don't know who he is, tune in at 9:30 on Thursday. THEN: Saturday Night Live has chosen the most perfect of all the guest hosts... Dr. Horrible/Barney Stinson himself... NEIL PATRICK HARRIS. Yes, the Doogie Howswer, MD kid. Never has there been a better person to host SNL. NEVER. Tune in and you'll see why.
So, that's really all I got going for me on day 24 of no nookie. BLAH.
So, to all my friends out there in Internet land, I do wish you a new year full of new experiences and good will. Personally, I'm hoping that my 09 turns out better than my 08. I will keep this blog going as long as I have something irrelevant but funny to say and as long as you guys don't mind complete BS all the time (that was my best skill in school, being able to fill up pages of a blue essay book with nothing of importance but still managing an A or B- at the worst). I'm going to try to put up more of my favorite drink concoctions since those got quite the reaction but, as for everything else, I'm not always going to have good ideas. This whole blogging thing is quite interesting and it will be my challenge to avoid the "self-serving masturbation" quality that personal blogs tend to get. So if I ever sound self-centered, just know that I am- but I'm working on that- and I do realize that there is a big world out there, one outside of my problems where people are starving and have AIDS and Malaria and horrible things like that.
I honestly didn't really expect to get to meet the people (albeit online) that I have or get the support that I've received from something that I started as a joke. So, I know that I have a very small audience, but thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Again, I know this is bordering on the schizo side... but I'm really getting a little twitchy!!!
"This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive."- Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) in "Point Break."
Last night I was flipping through stations, trying to figure out what I could watch to distract myself from the fact that I really really need to get laid... and soon. I was quite disappointed with the selection: "24: Redemption" was rerunning and I had already seen it, "The Real Housewives of Orange County" was also on- and I decided I would rather bang my head against the wall then watch the insipid goings-on of spoiled 40 something women, there was sports (blah), and other stuff...
... and then I came across this gem playing on our local crap station. "Point Break" is a 1991 movie about an F!B!I! agent named Johnny Utah (I'm so naming my first born son that) played by Keanu Reeves. He goes undercover to catch a band of bankrobbers known as the "Ex- Presidents" because they wear, you guessed it, masks of the ex-presidents. Lead by free spirit Bodhi (played by a buff Patrick Swayze), they are the extreme of extreme and do anything (like rob banks) to support their crazay lifestyle. Gary Busey and John C. McGinley (Perry Cox, MD from "Scrubs") also star. AND there's this awesome scene with a lawnmower.
Needless to say.... it was magnificent.
See, the "point break" is where a wave breaks on a rocky point and is therefore somehow a metaphor for life and robbing banks, I guess.
I don't care what it means, I still cry at the end when they're on the beach... in Austrailia... and Reeves just lets him go out there. Because you have to pay the ultimate price to do that. Or something.
Check it out, it is the most awesomest movie EVER MADE. I shit you not.
Also, check out "Hot Fuzz." Which just adds to the awesomeness because it is one of Danny's (played by Nick Frost) favorite cop movies ("You ever shoot your gun up in the air and gone 'ahhhhh'?") as he explains to Nick Angel (played by the love of my life, Simon Pegg). He is referring to a key scene when Utah chases Bodhi after robbing a bank and has a clear shot at him and doesn't take it... "because he loves him SOOOO much." Of course, later in "Hot Fuzz," this scene is mimiced with hilarious results. Oh those sassy Brits.
(You should watch all of it, but if you are pressed for time then fast forward to 2:03 so you can see what I mean...)
Sorry if this post seems schizophrenic. But that's how I'm feeling going on day 23 of no sex. Like a Schizo off meds.
Once upon a time I used to have my sanity. Every person has a tipping point that reverts them back to the days of child mentality. Recently, I found mine. While I considered myself to be an honest, loyal, and good-natured person, those qualities were put to the test for the last time a few days ago. My best friend (and ex-love) of all time chose his wretched girlfriend over three years of loyalty and true friendship. While returning a cell phone back to him the other day, I snapped and stole one of his beloved baseball hats from his house- starting down a dark path of retribution and regression. I hope that my newfound immaturity leads to enlightenment for others going through the same pain. This is for all the women scorned who found out that "Stand by Your Man" really only means until he finds a white trash slut to bang (ed.note, she really isn't that bad).
Please send all email queries to carlyrowe@gmail.com and I will do my best to answer all of your questions and comments as completely as I know how.
I LOVE TRACEY MORGAN.
"You Almost Hit My Car On the Icy Roads" m4w 25 (Allston)
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