"So where's all this change, Obama?"

Not to continue on the political tip, because there are much better sites for that, but I have to say that I really love the guys at 23/6. I'm going to have to cast my vote for "Where's all the new jobs? Mine still sucks."

Although I really do miss being smarter than the President.

Heavy.

ALANNA: "They could really use a Doc Brown on that island."

ME: "That would be the most amazingly retarded thing ever. As in both amazing and completely ridiculous. And therefore they must do it. It will be the happiest day of my life."

If you saw "Lost," I'm sure that in a way this makes sense to you. If not, it was AWESOME.

I must confess.

Since this blog was started in November (long after it ended its fourth season), I have had no need to let you all in on this:

Ready?

I'm obsessed with "Lost." Pretty much to the point where I watch episodes of "Intervention" and think, Gee, I know how that feels! (only with less Meth and more Sawyer). So you can imagine how incredibly psyched I am that it premieres its fifth season tonight on ABC (international fans, sorry- I think you guys are like only on season 3 or something). I'm pretty much forcing myself to sit down and actually do work today in an effort not to jump around and do kartwheels. Let's face it, this is the highlight of my month (you know, besides Obama and all that). So, in no particular order, I thought I would tell you the rules that I have imposed on my home on this particular night of nights:

1. You do not talk during "Lost." This one is directed at YOU, Mom. (actually, this rule is a revamped version of the Symmes Hall "Alias" Act of 2001 from Miami University).

2. No questions. Really just an addition to rule #1. If you don't understand something, watch the DVDs. I really just cannot explain everything to you and hope that you'll understand.

3. No criticizing "Lost" before, during, or after broadcast. It pretty much goes without saying that this is the best written show (EVER) when it comes to plot, character development, and complexity so your nitpicking will not change that.

4. No phone calls. This one is for you DAD. I don't really care about the weather in Arizona.

5. No boys, no drama. There is no gossip time during "Lost" nor are there any problems with boys. For one hour a week, there are no man issues. They only serve as a distraction from the real issue at hand: What the hell is with the four-toed foot?

Lord knows, I love a lot of TV. However, "Lost" is just something more than TV. And for the next 5 months (or however long the season runs), "Lost" is life.

I've invested four years of my life in this show- much longer than any relationship, job, or house I've ever lived in as an adult. With two seasons left, I shall give it my undivided attention.

I'm sure this post has only confirmed that I am a crazy person.

"It's a beautiful day."

"America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

Happy Obama Day to you!

Current Events.

TEXT FROM ME: "All those people on the plane survive the same week as Obama becomes president. Coincidence? Let the miracles begin! No one is going to die this year!"

TEXT FROM ALANNA: "What plane?"

ME: "Dude, turn on the TV."

ALANNA: "WHOA."

Things to do in Ohio when it's below 0... (part 1)

I told you I would try and get more drinks out here.

Here is my "Geauga County Snow-ball" (a new take on the traditional whiskey highball)

2 oz blended whiskey
carbonated water
1 twist lemon peel

and here's the best part, REAL GEAUGA COUNTY SNOW!*


Pour blended whiskey into a highball glass over snow. Fill with carbonated water and stir. Add the twist of lemon peel and serve.

*Only real Geauga County snow works for this. You could try Upstate New York varieties for a similar smoothness and taste, however I suggest you get the original shipped.

SAT Words.

I recently realized that after all of the wasted time obsessing over the John situation, the many chemicals I use to get that "flat and shiny" look for my hair, and the hours of "90210" reruns I've watched in an effort to distract myself from said John situation, I've killed my brain. This isn't like "after four years of college maybe I killed some brain cells," this is like "I don't remember state capitals and I am quickly losing my once extensive (see, that's not even a really good word to use here!) vocabulary that I enjoyed in high school, oh God am I senile already?" brain-mush.

That being said* from now on, in an effort to retain what has been lost, I will be doing vocabulary words every month (or whenever I remember to do them). Ironically, this was my least favorite part of junior year honors English. Now, as I struggle to write your basic "strongly worded email" to my insurance company, I see what Mr. Siedlecki's point was.

Here are your January 2009 words and sample sentences.

1. excogitate: The idea that Heidi and Spencer are celebrities excogitates from the idea that "The Hills" is a popular show.

2. ruminate: I ruminated my gum. (Ah, it works word snobs- look it up!)

3. maudlin: Many accused me of being maudlin after John and I had our falling out.

4. lachrymose: It's true, I was a little lachrymose.

5. adept: Sarah Palin is very adept at making herself look like a churl.

6. sagacious (sagacity): I wish I was sagacious, but I'm just aloof.

7. sapient: Barack Obama won the election because of his sapient nature and dulcet speaking tone.

8. sybaritic: I would love to find a man who can keep up with my sybaritic lifestyle.

9. epicurean: My epicurean nature makes it ok to get wasted on good wine.

10. choleric: I have a choleric temperament due to Republicans and Evangelists.

11. irascible: Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's FCOG. Lately I've been pretty irascible.

12. churl: Sarah Palin.

*"That being said" is my favorite transition of all time. You could basically create any non sequitur you choose with it. "I think you are a fat idiot. That being said, I'm hungry for pancakes." Also, it makes insults sound less, I don't know, insulting. "You're lazy, worthless, and you have shamed this family for years. That being said, I think you are wonderful dancer." Although I use it to do none of these things here and I am now only realizing that just because you can make a humorous point, doesn't mean you should do it. I thought maybe I should go back and choose a different transition but then I realized I'm tired and it's snowing and while it doesn't prove my point, it still works in this situation. SEE WHAT I MEAN? I'VE LOST MY MIND.

Smart: it's the new Hot. (And neurotic is the new charming.)