I knew this wouldn't be good!

Yeah, so we are officially on hour 16 of this cleanse.

And I would just like to come up with a list of things that don't suck nearly as much as both the raging irritability and hunger pangs I feel right now. Please note the sarcasm as it is listed below:

1. Definistration- It just doesn't look fun.
2. Getting your hair cut into what you think is a really cute, stylish bob- and then seeing your ex boyfriend with his new girlfriend that has locks and locks of gorgeous hair worthy of a shampoo commercial.
3. Spraining your neck while having jack rabbit sex (I'm looking at you, Carrie Bradshaw).
4. A traffic jam... when you're already late. (All apologies to Alanis. Especially since your old man is now with some new hussy.)
5. Flipping through the stations, seeing your favorite movie ever is on- the one you haven't seen in years, realizing it is on Telemundo.
6. Mosquitoes.
7. Work-related things that I cannot list here for fear of becoming unemployed during the worst economy since the Great Depression.
8. Young Republicans.
9. All of the Oscar nominated films this year that weren't also nominated in Sci-Tech categories. (Sorry, but this year I think the big action movies kicked the asses of pretentious award-bait movies in terms of relevance, entertainment, and everything else.)
10. My biweekly incapacitating migraine headache.

Food for thought.

And fuck you, Gwyneth Paltrow, and your cleanses.