As I have hinted in the past few previous posts, this weekend was another rough one for me. Yes, I got drunk (not as drunk as I was in Boston) and yes I had a great time (still not as good as Boston, as it did not involve a cabbie affectionately named Bootleg). And then something weird happen: the girl I was out with, the one I actually really like because she was older and therefore supposedly more mature, decided that everything that I was doing was morally reprehensible.
Morally. Reprehensible. Followed by ??????
Keep in mind, this is a woman that had her crazy days in her twenties as well.
Among such lovely quotes as "I don't respect you for using guys to get your free drinks" (I spent lots of money on buying everybody else free drinks but the one or two I got for free was what really pushed her over the edge) and... well actually I'm just going to copy and paste in this situation:
"I have no respect for someone who does not respect themselves. If you want to pound drinks and flirt...your prerogative. There is a huge maturity difference between 25 and 35. And frankly, you flirting with my EX...is completely uncalled for and I won't put up with it from you or anyone in my presence. If you need a guy's attention to make you feel good...by all means...get your 'therapy'. Just know it is in the end unhealthy, gives you a bad reputation, and loses friends."
I know, I know. I'm a horrible person for posting this. Just like I'm a horrible person for posting John's MySpace message and PVille Guy's emails. I just think this is funny.
The biggest reason is that (and I know that most of you out there don't know me) this could not be further from the truth. I had quite a charmed life, that I won't deny, but I had to grow up really quickly. "Immature"*** is not a word I would think to describe myself, but more importantly it isn't a word that most of my family (who watched me go through a lot of heartache and suffering with my mother and her long list of problems) would consider calling me either. About my "bad reputation," bad rep with who? I have like four friends out in here. Well, probably three now after this debacle. So, I'm not too too worried about having rumors flying around about things I didn't or did or was thinking about doing. As for "threrapy," I have my therapy: THIS BLOG.
I don't like to blame the way things happened to me for the way things are. As I've survived two major heartbreaks (John and Pville) in a row, I learned that using your past to justify your present doesn't get you anywhere. So I'm not going to go into what "I've been through" to convey the message that as far as level-headed 25 year olds go, I'm pretty good.
(Also, this excerpt makes me sound like the town floozy. I've slept with a small, small selection of men in the past few years and I drink only when I'm out with friends. I can pretty much always get my ass home and up out of bed the next morning so I'm not planning on joining The Program anytime soon- even though I think it is a wonderful, wonderful thing that saved my mom's life.)
In case you were wondering, I did manage to fire a few rounds back at her. Don't worry, it's not Alanna and this person will not be receiving her own tag much less a knick-name on this blog.
***VERY IMPORTANT: I realize that this blog was devised on the premise that I'm not the bigger person and I do childish things... but this actually made me realize how crazy I was acting before with John. I don't take any of it back, because it still makes me laugh, but I will think twice about how I act towards him in the future. It's almost like there's a big mirror in front of me and I'm like "OOOOOH, that's FUUUUUGLY." Except on the inside. So more like an x-ray. Of emotional health. I'm confusing myself now. Long story short, if it makes me a hypocrite or not, this lady's off her rocker.
UPDATE: I have been threatened with a restraining order. So... not quite sure how that's gonna work.
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