Decision 08.

WINNER

While Americans were lining up to make their voices heard yesterday and making a decision that will affect every one of our lives for the next four years, I was making some decisions of my own about where to go from here.  It's time to move on, not only for the country, but me as well.

I sent John a very long apology and a good will message on MySpace.  I took the high road and said that I wished we could be friends.  It was a private message that I hope he respects as much as I do in not posting in.  

After more angry words and more fighting, I finally just rolled over.  "I'm done.  I can't beat myself up about this and I can't let you do it to me anymore, either.  We have to move on."  He confessed to still having feelings for me that he doesn't know what to do with.  He really cares about this girl (FCOG) and if I want to be his best friend, then I have no other choice but to support that.  He wants to give it a chance.

So we talked about the things we used to talk about before this happened.  Tanning, drinking, stupid people, my  new phone.  He told me that SHE doesn't want him to talk to me.  I said that it was up to him and hopefully, one day, she can be secure enough that she would let me take them out for drinks as a peace offering.  

"Keep your side of the street clean, Carly," my mom always says.  "It's the only thing you can do."  

The night was made even better when PVille guy called and asked me how my day was going.  I vented to him about everything.  I apologized for being so mean to him so many times before because I was so used to three years of long, painful fights with John that everything would be new to me now.  I hung up the phone, smiling like an idiot and happy to have that new relationship "butterflies" feeling again (don't worry, there were some very inappropriate and borderline pornographic comments made too, so it wasn't all mushy).*

I went upstairs and watched Pennsylvania, my home state of Ohio, and Florida all turn blue on the map.  I was dozing off just as President-Elect took the stage in Grant Park and watched history write itself in front of me.  All in all, I think it was a pretty good night.

*Don't worry, for those who are thinking this is beginning to lack in childish actions.  I have a new guy and a new life ahead of me... there will be plenty of opportunities to screw it all up, I'm sure.  And when I do, I'll let you know.