A to Zoolander.

So I was looking at Blogger's December Blogs of Note (mine is most definitely NOT on there) and found Life at Willow Manner.  Ooozing with idyllic adorableness like warm melted chocolate, I enjoyed the photos, recipes, and anecdotes of family life.  She's pretty crafty, you should all check 'er out.  Anyway, she had a post about how her friends had challenged her to an Alphabet listing of her 26 favorite movies.  You can go see it on her blog.  So, naturally I had to attempt this as well (this was not planned out before hand so this list is being created as I write this... ) Pardon me for the lame choices... this isn't as easy as you think.

A:  "About a Boy"

B:  This should not be this hard already.  I'll come back to it.

C:  All right, I'm stealing this one.  "Cinema Paradiso" is good and my brain is fried.

D: "Dances With Wolves" "Dirty Dancing" "The Departed"

Back to B: Ok, I'm an IDIOT. "Back to the Future." Sometimes I wonder about myself.

E:  Skip.

F: "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

G: "Ghostbusters"

H: "Hot Fuzz"

Again, another B: I'm really dumb.  Hello- "Braveheart"?!

I:   "I Know What You Did Last Summer"

J:  "Jumanji" Shut up... do you have something better?

K:  "Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2"

L: "Lord of the Rings" SCORE.  

M: This is for Jason at Executedtoday.com- "The Molly Maguires"  Look it up, Internet.

N: "No Country For Old Men"

O: "O Brother, Where Art Thou" Coen double feat- Heyyo!

P: "Persepolis"

Q:  I got nothing.

R: "The Royal Tenenbaums" or "Resevoir Dogs" and god dammit, another B "Boondock Saints, The"

S: "Shaun of the Dead"

T: "Tropic Thunder" which reminds me, don't ask me why, of a C that I've seen way more times then a pretentious pick like "Cinema Paradiso"... Ready for it... "CADDYSHACK!" (Cue Kenny Loggins and a dancing gopher... I'm aallll riiiiight, don't nobody worry 'bout me.  Yep, I'm that immature.)

Figured out a Q: "Quill"! Not your "feel good movie of the year" but if you want to know about the origins of S&M, I'd check it out (Hey now, it's a classy movie- Geoffrey Rush, Kate Winslet, and Joaquin Phoenix star).

U: I'll come back for u. Ha, You- U? Ya get it? U and a You?  I told you I'm burnt out.

V: "V for Vendetta"- I'm really sorry Alan Moore, but I thought it was jolly good fun.  And therein lies the problem and I totally understand.

W: "What Lies Beneath"- this is courtesy of my coworker Kalyn.  We both agree: Harrison Ford is a creep in that movie.  I would have gone with "Wayne's World" now that I'm thinking clearer.

X:  "X-Men 2."  Bet ya' thought I'd say "X-Men."  You bet wrong.  "X-Men 2": WAAAAY COOLER.

Y:  "Young Frankenstein" and for fuck's sake, another B with "Blazin Saddles."

Z:  Easy.  I knew this before I started: "Zoolander."

Ok, who did I miss?  E:  "E.T." and U: Ok, I cheated and got a list.  "Untouchables," "Unforgiven," and probably the best of overrated movies: "The Usual Suspects."  

So, I had to cheat.  I'm not an infallible super-genius when it comes to pop culture nor did I ever claim to be.

Just a quickie.

Very quickly, had to share this with you...

(Useful information: In a conversation yesterday, Alanna told me about how her coworkers have adopted "doing puzzles" as a euphemism for sex.  Then the following was said.)

Me:  Haha.  I need to puzzle someone.  Hey that actually works!

Alanna:  NO YOU DON'T.

Me: no i don't.

Alanna: You keep your pieces to yourself.

I swear if you add canned laughter after everything we said, we could easily be a bad early nineties sitcom (think "Living Single" with less-and by less I mean none- empowered black women of the nineties).

Cannot wait for 01/20/09. Paaaaartaaaay!

I don't mean to cop out and make this post totally devoid of any value you couldn't find on another and waaaay more popular blog.  But I saw these pics this morning, I just had to include them on what is rapidly becoming a Culture According to Carly Scrapbook.  It's President-Elect when he was young and possibly childish (but most likely not, because he's always been perfect.  You hear that Fox News?  ALWAYS.).  

Here, he is saying "Hmm, what will I be doing in the future?  I could do a jazz album or I could fix the world.  Or I could do a jazz album WHILE fixing the world.  Yeah, I'll do that."

Here, he is giving his best bedroom eyes.  "What's up, girl, I'm Barack Obama.  I'm going to run for president against John McCain in 2008 and kick some ass while doing it.  Yeah, THAT John McCain.  The white dude. Now come ovah here baby and let me show you my Lincoln Bedroom..."

"If I lean against this wall with my hat tilted like this I can look mysterious yet approachable at the same time.  I am Obama, I don't even need to speak to get the ladies.  What up."

I kind of like this look for him.  Very sexy.

Why do I have a feeling that he's just going to be the COOLEST guy to ever sit in the Oval Office?  I've got chills. :)

Dear Pete Wentz...

Gross.

Dear Pete Wentz,

You confuse me.  So much so that I'm having a hard time organizing my thoughts into a cohesive letter, so bare with me please.

When I first saw you, you were playing mediocre (yes, MEDIOCRE) emo music with your band, Fall Out Boy.  Being a Killers fan as well as completely against emo, quite natch' I had to pick a side.  It was not yours.  Then it seemed like there was a bunch of OMG moments like your penis being all over the internet or that you were kissing boys.  While I'm sure many 13 year old girls thought this was so so so scandalous, to the rest of the world (who probably couldn't name three of your songs) it looked like a kid acting out- that is, if anyone else besides 13 year old girls were actually paying attention.  Then you hosted some queer show on MTV on Friday nights.  Last time I checked, most people did not stay home on Fridays to watch any TV much less an obvious 2 hour long commercial for already over-exposed artists. 

We had our fun, though.  Like that one song, "I'm going down down in a merry go round and sugar I'm going down swinging..."? That was fun.  I don't remember what it was called, nor do I remember any of the words besides that one line.  Or the "Arms Race" song.  It had a good beat or something that kept my attention the solid two weeks in 07 I thought that song was totally hot (like Paris Hilton hot).  However, like all emo bands before and all emo bands after, I had to grow out of you.  

By the way, I never, ever, ever thought you were hot.

And now, well... now this.  I have to hear on not one, two, or three, but FOUR celebrity blogs that you like sticking your little Fall Out Boy in the dark place.  Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.  I'm not so sure Joe Simpson really wanted to turn on his Sirius radio to Stern this morning and hear all about how his little girl is getting bent over and... well... you know.  I really don't care where you stick it.  I just don't want to hear about it.  Hell, I don't even want to hear about my friends doing that!  

Why are you so adamant about your family's privacy when it comes to photographers taking pictures of you?  I understand that it's a little different then blasting the gory deets about your love life all over the airwaves and that little Bronx Mowgli Kahn Baloo Bagheera Simpson-Wentz is an innocent bystander in all of this (and really, I do feel bad for the kid in more ways then you could ever know).  I get it.  I just don't think that disappointing album sales or lack of interest in your kid's picks (yes, we all know no one wants them despite whatever excuse you might have), really warrants subjecting the whole world to hearing about your kinky sex adventures with your wife.  Or that she wears thongs for lap dances (*shudder* that will haunt my dreams forever).

Also please tell your sister-in-law to just stop trying so hard already.  We get it.  She's a country girl.  

Good luck with fatherhood and all that.

Sincerely,

CJ

Where are you Christmas?

With the commercial blur that Christmas has become, all of my inspiration is usually tapped out around this year anyway. This year is worse though. It's really hard to get into the Christmas spirit when everyday on the news we have to hear about more layoffs, Detroit's decline, and more bad news for the Rust Belt cities (Cleveland included). Yesterday I went to buy a gift for someone at one of the store chains (Circuit City, Linens n' Things, KB Toys) that will be closing at the end of the year. While it was a good deal, I have to say it was kind of sad to see empty shelves and inventory in disarray, picked apart by bargain hunters. The lady who checked me out at the counter seemed cheerful, and I wondered if she was only hired on as extra seasonal help to deal with the heavy traffic.

Seems like lately, everyone's smile is a little forced here despite the holidays. Even my mother's hours working at the local state park have been cut and she's been forced to take back almost all of the presents she bought. "It's no big deal, mom," I told her as tears filled her eyes when she learned of the cutback. "I don't need so many things." It was like her spirit had broken right in front of me.

Last night, however, all this malaise about Christmas didn't stop my mom from decorating our tiny tree with brightly colored antique tin ornaments and sparkly snowflakes, opting out of our usual traditional Swedish tree with straw and red ornaments. She hummed and sang along to one of her favorite movies, "Mary Poppins," as I played with my puppy on the floor and for a few minutes, I felt like a kid again.

I'm going to make cookies tonight and hopefully the aroma of little mounds of diet-busting goodness will get me out of this funk.

TAG.

Yesterday I was tagged by Overdue. Seeing that I really don't have anything else to talk about today, I'll play along. I'm supposed to list six things that make me happy and then tag six other blogs. I don't even know if that many people read this. So here goes on the first half:

1. Don Draper makes me happy. Not Jon Hamm (although I wouldn't kick him out of bed either), but 1962 Don Draper. Does it creep me out he would be older than my grandfather right now? Not really. So I guess I should start working on that fictional time machine to take me back to the fake 1960s.

2. "Jizz in My Pants" by SNL Digital Short (Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone[?]). It's better than anything the Timberlake/land collab has done in the last 6 months (although they both make cameos- Justin as a janitor and Timba contributes back up). You will not stop singing it. Ever. Even at dinner with your grandparents.

3. My grandpa's jokes. Example: Old man gets on plane. A beautiful woman sits next to him. As the plan gets ready for take off, he smiles at her. She hesitantly smiles back. I was hoping we could have a conversation on this flight? he says to her.
About what? She asks.
I don't know. Nuclear physics? He says.
Ok. Well, let me ask you something, She says.
Ok.
You know how when deer poop it comes out in big piles?
Yes, the old man says.
Or when bunnies poop it comes out in little pellets?
Yes, the old man says, nodding his head.
Or when horses and cows poop it comes out in round clumps?
Yes, he says and wonders where this is going.
Well if they all eat grass, she says, why does it all come out looking so different?
Well I don't know, ma'am, he says. I really don't!
Ok, she says, well how do you expect to talk about nuclear physics when you don't know shit?

Hardy har har. He tells them better than I can type them.

4. Staying in bed when it's snowing. Extra points if you have a DVD player, lots of movies, and someone to keep you warm that isn't a black lab who seems to think the entire bed area is his.

5. The Fist Pump Mix. Someday I will write more about this wonderful CD, but a quick overview: my friend TJ from Miami of Ohio made me and Alanna a mixed CD of really cool music because he didn't really approve of the music we listened to. Because of this CD, I know who Ike Reilly is, I know who People Under the Stairs are, I know who Latryx is ("Lady Don't Tek No" is a hip hop CLASSIC), I know G'Love and the Special Sauce, I know the Donnas, and I know Cody Chestnutt (TJ once told me that "Looks Good In Leather" was MY song... so I kind of forever am in love with it). I will write one day about how every time that I hear it, it makes me infinitely happy. I will get the whole list and put it up here so you can see for your self how awesome it is.

6. Trivial Pursuit, Jeopardy, any trivia game show. Again an experience I will write about on a later date, but Trivial Pursuit is the only level playing ground for me and my dad. It ends up with pieces thrown across the room, boards tipped over, and in one case, a punch in the nose. Jeopardy is like exercise for me (oooh, running on the treadmill WHILE watching Jeopardy is the best workout ever) that trains me for the yearly TP game with dear ol' Dad. Also, trivia games at the bars- because flattening your friends with your extensive knowledge of French history AND Tom Cruise movies is just so satisfying.

and for a lucky 7: TV and Food combinations. For example:
"The Princess Bride" and chocolate lava cake. "How I Met Your Mother" and a cheeseburger. "Lost" and sushi/anything with avocados. "Lord of the Rings" trilogy and lots of beer (it's like nine hours long, so I really mean LOTS of beer) and hearty German food (pretzels, sausage, etc). "Mad Men" and a nice filet mignon with a rich cabernet. I don't know why these things go so well with each other, they just do.

As for tags, I tag my number one fan izzie_tisha, huffmania, oh the places i will eat, and whoever else has ever commented on this blog. Tag, you're it.

Monday musings.

Keeping this short, but this is what my day has consisted of.

..."Should I get Arabica (coffee house here)? No. Should I? No I'm not."
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP (from car behind me as I make up my mind)
"Yeah, I'm not getting Arabica."

...Come into work. The girl who "took"* my promotion comes in...

(shoulda seen that one coming)

...Try to restrain myself while making reservations for my boss to not fill out form as "Ms. Chanandler Bong." Laugh to myself at him being addressed as such.

...Exchange angry emails with former coworker who seems to not know how to read.

...Go to BWE.tv for some quick relief only to see clip of Spencer and Heidi: The Day After.

...Wonder why, if Heidi is so damn happy, does she keep mentioning how drunk she was/hungover she now is/probably wouldn't of dun it if she wasn't so damn drunk?

...Take a moment to contemplate whether or not I would still do Tom Cruise. Answer: YES.

...Text my former hot fling/sales rep from previous employment to razz him about new job (because it was my job before him).

...Look at executedtoday.com and deusexmalcontent.com. Learn about decimation and a Facebook movie respectively. For some reason, the concept of decimation makes more sense.

...Look at diamonds to buy for myself to show off how much of an Independent Woman (throw ya handsup at maaaee) I am.

...Realize maybe I should buy presents for my family members before purchasing said diamonds.

...Realize maybe before that I should pay some bills so I don't end up out on my ass during a recession before I go into debt buying presents.

...Realize maybe I should stop blogging before I don't have job to pay said bills.

...Realize, "Oh yeah, no one gives a shit what I do here. That's why I didn't get promoted."

...Laugh to myself about what/who I may or may not have done on the couch in the conference room last week.

...George Bush got a shoe thrown at him. HA. I love Iraqis. Sorry we F'ed up your country. Really, though, I am so sorry.

..."Should I go tanning? No. Maybe. Should I go? I'm not gonna go."
Cut to sitting in the middle of intersection deciding which way to turn. BEEEEEEP.
"Maybe I'll go tanning."

So pretty much that and an episode of "How I Met Your Mother" with some tekka maki or something to eat, and that is my Miserable Monday.

*she's nice so this isn't an FCOG the Sequel thing or anything like that... she's actually almost cooler than I am.