Nothing lasts forever...

"... even cold December rain."  (Yeah, yeah, I'm taking liberties on the one GNR song that I actually, honestly, truly love with all my heart).  

The news called it a "Panhandle Hook."  I guess that means when you get lots of rain up from the Panhandle, although which panhandle they are talking about I'm not so sure (Oklahoma, Florida... are there any others?).  However, it is raining today and the white snow is melting away to expose a little green, lots of mud, and the smelly presents Lucky the Gimpy Lab has left for me to pick up around the yard.  This morning, I couldn't find the cat and left for work a little worried.  It seems like every time it gets a little warmer (and this is unusual for Ohio in December, albeit not unusual in its unusualness) he gives me the finger and runs away, leading to horrible visions of his furry mangled corpse on the side of Route 306.  

On top of all this, there is an odd goo exuding from my right ear today.

It was just one of those mornings that it was oddly warm and staying in bed was just not comfortable anymore... this rarely happens to me.  Lucky was already anxious to get up and get going (because he has such a busy day ahead of him licking his crotch).  So with a "ho hum" I got up and checked the roads outside and headed downstairs to begin another day in grayness.

Last night, I thought about a lot of things.  I've finally worn myself out worrying about what John's doing or what the hell went wrong with PVille guy.  There is quiet in my head.  That wrenching feeling is no longer in control of my gut and heart.  Now is the time for me, was the conclusion I came to.  I want that apartment in Boston.  I want that job, whatever it may be.  I want the life I've wanted since I was ten and the only way of getting that is saying, ahem, "FUCK OFF" to those who stand in my way by way of distraction or lessening my worth. 

It may be cloudy outside, but my thoughts have never been clearer.

Side note: at this moment, I am on hold with a client and the hold music is a lovely muzak version of "Fools Rush In" which is one of my favorite Elvis Presley songs.